Well, it is not New Years day yet here in mountain time but it is in other places so that's why I say for both.
I want to wish all of you a very Happy and Grand New Year, 2012! I hope you all make the most of it and have the best time you could possibly have, hanging out with friends and/or family. So far my New Years Eve is going pretty good. I got go hang out with a friend after church and am not just sitting around at home watching TV or listening to music and relaxing, which I think is my favorite way to spend it.
Google Images
Every year my New Years resolution is always the same: to be a better person. Now there is nothing wrong with that and I still am going to try everyday to be a better person, but I have a new one in mind. I want to not be afraid in the face of uncertainty and that which is to come in the future, I want to stand brave and tall in the face of it all! And that I think will suit me just fine for this year that is 2012.
I don't know about you but I for some reason love to read Edgar Allan Poe's story "The Mask of the Red Death" during the New Years.
Christmas has come and gone, and it was the best Christmas ever! Even though it's not about the gifts, I did get everything that I wanted and couldn't have gotten better. And for the first time I finally went to a Christmas service, at Harvest Church, and I must say that I can't actually remember ever going to any Christmas service so I think it was my first altogether, which does make me happy too. There's a first for everything you know. And I know I never did do a Christmas post but I just needed a break, a break from everything, and I got one. I get a weak of break.
Look what I got!
I got these awesome arm warmers with two long sleeve shirts, a black one and a white, gray, and black striped one. I must say that I love these and I have always wanted a pair, and I got them! (The arm warmers people.)
Yes, it is what it looks like, chocolate bacon!!!!!!!! I saw this the first day I went into World Market and wanted to try it so bad, but sadly no...till NOW! It is really quite good, but you only want a little bit at a time because the taste is kind of strong, in a way. Joy <3
And thanks "Santa" for giving me two great gifts (the one above and below). But it is a little creepy that you had to break into my house without asking. And seriously, I have never read the Vampire Chronicles yet, what is wrong with me? I have wanted to for so long, and now I have the first three books, so there is no excuse now! By the way, just how did you know that I wanted these, Santa?
What a good Christmas story. :)
Yes! A Nightmare Before Christmas blanket. How cool is that! Or at least I think so, and it's really soft.
And I always must save the best for last. I cannot tell you how badly I wanted this big bag of M&M's. I told my parents when they asked what I wanted that this was the first thing they should get me. :) It's perfect!
Christmas Eve and day were both great with great food, pie, presents for everyone, and Joy to the World!! I also ended up getting $80 to spend. I have a few ideas, but I like to be careful what I buy because I want to get something(s) that I really want. I know $7 is going to a movie tomorrow, even though I have already seen it last Monday, but if my friend wants to go and see it with someone, who happens to be me, than so be it! It's Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows.
So, I hope you all had a terrifically spooky Christmas time and enjoy your week!
Yep, life gets crazy. I've been so busy, but not anything fun too much, which needs to be fixed some how... But here is my new blog post that I have been working on writing here lately when I have the time.
So, there are many different fashion styles within the Gothic subculture, and if you're like me it can be tricky finding one, or even some, that fit you and that you like the best. I know that I like many different styles for there aesthetic but would probably never wear the actual style because it just doesn't fit me, personally. And of course you don't just have to pick a style and stick to it, and there are no rules saying that you can't mix and match.
No sure where I found this, I think it was at
WeHeartIt
The point is to express yourself the way that you want to, but that's not always easy, for anyone, because you either don't quite know how you want to do that or you are afraid to.
The best thing to do first is look at all your options, you know, like all of the styles out there that appeal to you best. Keep all of them in mind and pick out what you like best about the styles you choose, and maybe you just liked it because it looked nice and don't have a specific part you like most about it, that's fine too.
When you go out looking for cloths to add to your wardrobe don't limit yourself, like thinking you can only get it if it's black. And not every goth fashion has black, sometimes it's just a little bit, even no black, like Steampunk for example. You have to ask what colors you like best to wear, like maybe your favorite color(s), unless you like any color. For me black is the one color I feel most comfortable in and could so wear all black almost all of the time, almost. I like my purple, blue, red, and green whether it be just a touch or almost the main color (usually just an accent of color).
Then you need to know what kind of clothes you like to wear best, and don't like to wear, because I've learned from experience that if you buy something you better be sure you really like it and will wear it, regardless of how cute or cool it looks. Is it really you? Like a dress, if you never wear dresses and don't like them, don't get one unless you can stand wearing it more than once and more than only part of the day before you have to take it off (yeah, that would be me). I prefer pants and sometimes a skirt, if it's the right one. The same thing goes for when you're picking out a coat/jacket. Do you like a hoodie or a Victorian style trench coat?
Google Images
And remember, what looks good on someone else may not look the same on you, or give you that same look. Or it may look good on you but you don't like it so much when it's on you. Experiment with it, have fun.
,Also, look at the accessories, pendants, and it doesn't just have to be skulls and crosses/crucifixes, they can be anything. Along side skulls and crucifixes, other more common ones would be bats, spiders, and spider webs, but it could even be butterflies, dragonflies, bird cages, hearts, keys, etc.
Remember, you don't fit into goth, it fits onto you. You make it look the was you want.
And one of TBM's awesome songs that is stuck in my head, Forever.
I'm so so sorry I haven't posted in a while. I just get so distracted with life sometimes, as we all do now and again. I also have a tendency to worry too much which mind you doesn't help! I've been doing a lot of writing and school, so much school. But I will be back here real soon, and I see I have a lot of reading to do, having missed so many posts from my fellow bloggers. I've missed you all!
This is my newest creation. I love drawing these cartoons, or creations as I call them, because it's fun and simple. :)
Call it what you will, but life is not party, it's not fair, it's hard, but we all have to go through it and make the most of it. You can tell a lot about a person because of their worldview and how they see life. I am going to talk about the latter.
Everyone has their own way that they look at life. The ones that I hear the most are: life is like a roller coaster, life is a party, life is a journey, and life sucks. (Yes, I count that last one as one too.) I have taken the life is a journey one for my post title, mainly because this is the one that is most like my own.
A while back, when my blog was new, I wrote a piece of work that I had done and thought I should share. It is a glimpse of how I saw the journey of life, which I will discuss . This is the blog post.
I see life as a road. Its a long, twisting and winding road. Sometimes you see a glimpse of the light, sometimes you only see darkness, other times the way is foggy. I believe in the narrow path, or road less traveled, and the wide road, the road to destruction. The narrow path is the one I walk. Sometimes you have to pass through the mist of a storm that seems to never end, sometimes through a battle field, or a trench. There are times when you walk along and the way is calm, other times the road twists and turns so sharply that you don't know where you are going till you've turned the corner, and you sometimes feel lost in the forest surrounding you, with creature hiding in the darkness waiting for you to get close enough to catch you.
At the end of this long road is that little ray of light that marks the end, and it is so easy to miss that you have pay very close attention. The road is so rocky and with roots sticking out that you must watch your step and where you walk or you are most likely to trip and fall in the mud. It's not easy, it's hard, sometimes it seems too hard to go any further that you can't possibly take another step.
I have always imagined things to make sense of them myself, to see things in my own way. This is one of them. Simply saying life is like a journey just doesn't cut it for me, I had to see it my way. Seeing it my way helps me better understand where it is I am and where it is that I am going. This also goes hand in hand with my walk with God.
But I am curious, what is your way of looking at life? How do you make sense of it all?
Well, it's true, there's not. The only normal that does exist is the normal that you are, and what I mean by that is that we all have "the way we normally are" and when we start to act out of that is when we are not being our normal selves, how we usually are. If that made sense. There is no "normal" like society has in its head that everyone is, or should, be a certain way, and that's just not the case.
Google Images
So like I mentioned before, there is nothing wrong with being you but we all fear rejection and that can sometimes hold us back. Well, think of this for a moment: God, who created everything you see around you, the air you breathe, the sunlight, well He also created you. And so if He created you, then is it not a sin to not be who He made you to be. He laid out everything about you, He knew it all before you were even thought of, so by being you, you honor Him, right? There is a Bible verse, a Psalms, that I have in a page at the top of my blog, Psalm 139. It says that God kit you together in the dark of the womb and that He has laid your life out, He being the author of your life. Cool, right?
Being you can't be so bad if that's the way you are made to be. You like the dark and spooky? Nothing wrong with that, because if it is natural to you and does not harm you then maybe that is just the way you were made to be, maybe that is your normal.
One thing that bothers me is when I hear others who don't fit in with the mainstream put down those who, well, do (in a way), those who we consider "normal" people, like the preppy kids. Just because you decided to be, say, Goth, and that others who are not treat you wrong does not mean you need to do the same and judge them wrongly, because after all if you never judge the minority for the majority, it works the other way around too. Actually now that I brought it up, preppy kids never usually bother me any, like I always seem to hear. In fact one of my best friends is a prep, and he is really nice, actually, they all are, (my preppy friends).
It's funny thinking back now on when I first "looked up" goth, I thought that those "normal" kids I hung around a bit would not like me anymore at all. I found out later that that was not true, in fact being myself has gotten me some really great friends that I had never had before. I didn't loose any friends either when I was a babybat and getting into goth, not for that reason anyways, but moving. I seem to have made more friends this way, more than I have had in a long time which is more than two. And none of them care how I dress or that my hair is red, in fact they like it.
So babybats, and anyone else out there, just know that by being you, you may actually end up making some awesome friends, and maybe even some unexpected ones too. Just be the normal you, not the "normal" that society thinks everyone should be, or is. There is not such thing as normal. And I can never fit it and never will.
I used to pull my hair up in all kinds of different ways, then I started keeping my hair short, and you really can't do that much when it's cut near your chin. But my hair is getting longer again and I was finally able to put it up. Being Halloween I decided to do something a little different with my hair.
I used to like to do pig tails when my hair was long. I have known people to say that when you reach a certain age you should do pig tails anymore as they are too little girlish, but I think the right look and on the right person it's perfectly fine.
My hair doesn't take very well to being teased being so thick and all, because it just falls right back down and looks like it never was teased. I know this because I wanted to do it to my hair, so now I have a hairspray just waiting to be used, so why not use it. So I teased my pig tails, plus it doesn't look little girlish this way, or at least I think so.
By the way, my hair is turning strawberry blonde! But that's okay, because it's fading much better than last time, and different too. But I will definitely be doing this to my hair again.
And on another note, I never actually had this happen to me before but on Halloween night while my little sister was trick or treaty this lady , after giving my sister candy, turned to me and said, "Don't you want some too? You're all dressed up!" When in fact I was not dressed up for Halloween, just wearing my everyday wear. My brother will never let me forget it either. I did have a laugh over though. :)
I wanted to get this written a week ago bust, all well.
Halloween has always been one of my favorite days and October one of my favorite times of the year being autumn and everything. I love the changing colors of the trees, the smell of the chilly air of decaying leaves, and the way the day looks because the sunsets and we get night. October really is the only month that we get autumn here in Montana because if it doesn't snow before Halloween, or one it, it snows after, and once that happens you could say that winter is pretty much here, so are autumn is like a month and a half usually.
Google Images
One of my favorite parts of this time of the year is eating candy, making Halloween decorations, watching some of my favorite movies on channels like ABC Family, and carving pumpkins! Oh, and how could I forget, baked pumpkin seeds are the best, and dangerous! I do like to dress up too, but this year I don't think it will happen because I am out of ideas sadly. But I can still have a good time anyways, like dressing in black and orange.
Only one thing has ever bugged me about Halloween, and that is the people who say that if you're a Christian then you can't celebrate Halloween. It just bugs me, and yes it is there opinion, but it always makes me feel in some way disturbed. So the other day I was listening to the Air1 radio station and the guy hosting the afternoon show was saying how he got all of these emails from people talking about Halloween and whether it was right or not. Same old stuff I always hear: it's Satan's holiday, Satan's birthday, or it's evil. And he said something that turned on a light bulb: we aren't here to condemn the culture but to redeem it, and it's just another one of God's days. So if God makes ever single day then why would He make a day for Satan! That's blasphemy in the fact that to say that God would do such a thing like that is disrespectful to Him. It's not different from any other day. Celebrate it or don't, that is up to you, but please don't say it's Satan's holiday because that is just wrong, and frankly it is disturbing to me to think that Satan could have a day to himself. So let's not go there.
And what's with Christmas stuff up way before Halloween now? I mean really, two over two month before Christmas. I don't even want to think of Christmas and the cold, and SNOW! Why must they torture me so!
I wanted to do this post for some time but just couldn't bring myself to write it just then when I thought of it. So I am writing it now.
I have so many questions and no answers. I think too much, which can either be a bad thing or a good thing. I watch the people around me as I sit alone, watching them go about their lives, and I sometimes end up looking back at myself and wonder why I can't be out there with them too, what is holding me back I don't yet know. It's a question without an answer. I don't mind sitting alone, or being by myself, it's very nice sometimes, but just not all of the time, it can be depressing and I get lonely. I have pretty much always been the one to sit alone while other go about with their friends not even noticing me, that is why I saw that I have pretty much always been the invisible one. My story here is nothing new, I am not the only one, everyone has been through this at some point, some more than others.
So like I said, I am not alone. I also know that life does not revolve around me, my God is always with me, I have friends, and I have that one best friend that I can call at three in the morning. But still, in the end, none of that helps when it comes down to the very center of it all, because there is so much more than that.
Now, I want to share something with you (or whoever is reading this...) that comes straight out of my personal journal. I wrote this Tuesday, June 21st, of this year, 2011.
(The below is rewritten in a way that it can be towards you and not just me.)
Steps on Being Myself
First pray. It seems like I'm always praying, but in the end it always works.
Second, don't be afraid. Clearly I (or that is: you) are afraid of something and need to ask yourself: what are you afraid of?
Third, read the Bible every night and day. It does end up helping over time.
Forth, what you have to say is not boring! If you have something you want to say, say it. Just make sure you're not saying something like gossip or something bad like that.
So far all of that has worked, looking back on it now, and in only a couple of months I have been feeling much better about truly being myself and not being all closed up and quite. And you can go and add or change whatever you like to fit you if you need to. You also need to learn to love yourself, because if you don't even like who you are how can you expect someone else to.
To pray means that you tell God everything. I literally mean EVERYTHING! He already knows, so tell Him anyways, don't hold it back, after all you pray not because He simply says too, He says too because it helps you, after all if you never ask you will never get it, if you don't knock the door will not be open, if you don't seek you will never find what you seek. Only the truth can set you fear, so speak it, say out loud, say the honest truth not matter how horrible it is. It should also be sincere.
"Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened." Matthew 7:7-8.
What are you afraid of? Rejection. You may say that it doesn't bother you, but you are still afraid of it, everyone is. It's human nature to want to be accepted, not rejected, and yet we reject others. We judge them, reject them, turn our backs on them, we sin. And life is life. What don't I get up and walk over and start to join in? Because I guess I am afraid, afraid to be looked down upon, to be ignored, to look stupid, to be rejected. I still don't know how to over come it. It seems easy to say, "Just suck it up and move on, who cares about them." To do that, well that is a whole other story.
Don't be afraid to be you, even though you may not know who that is yet, I still don't, but I don't want to hide that, or hide from anything, life is too short for that. So even though I may not know who I really am, I am still going to be me, and I do that my not thinking about it, because once I do I over do it.
I realize I have been gone sometime now, sorry about that. And I have a new sort of series if you will, or at least they relate to each other in some way. And this one is going to be the first post, on labels.
We put labels on this so we know what's what, but we also do this to know who's who. I personally like to label certain things to make it easier to know where things are and have a place for everything. A person on the other hand I really just don't care, because a label on a person really doesn't need to be there for organization, but just to get an idea of who that person is.
Unlike some I don't hate labels on people, but there are sometimes when labels are pushed too far and it just is ridiculous. For instance, say someone finds out that this person they talked with before was emo, and so they stop talking to that person because they don't want to be seen with someone emo. What difference does it make, it's still the person you were talking too before you found out they were emo. And that is what does really bug me about the whole thing.
Some label themselves for identity reasons, because in that they "find" who they are or want to be known as. That can also be pushing it too far. I say this because that is not what labels are for in my opinion, but are there to just more so group others with like interests together. Someone may see the label of Goth and see that they have similar like interests in dark and spooky things and then can relate to the gothic subculture.
My blog title then only says a little about be in some ways and all about me in others. The label Goth implies that I identify with the culture and have like interests with others in it. The label Christian, however, says the most by implying that that is what my beliefs are, Who I follow is, and the like. But there is a difference between the labels of Goth and Christian. I don't just identify with other Christians, or have the same or similar likes and interests because truly there is only one like and interest and belief we all share. In Goth we all have very similar if not almost the same likes, interests, and views of things, such as taste in dark music, the love of Halloween and vampires, etc., or how we express ourselves in a dark way by clothing and such. But with Christians, in the end it doesn't matter what music we like, how we dress, what things we have in common, who are friends are, what we like to do, what movies we like to watch or anything. The only thing that binds us together is that we believe in God and that is it. That one thing, because nothing else matters.
Done by myself. Not off internet.
Even though I call myself a Goth, that doesn't mean that that is just what I am and should be put in a box to sort out who is who. To fit in only one box would make to me a very boring person. I can understand people who hate labels. But they aren't there to put restrictions up, just simply to tell something about you, for instance you know two things about me by the title of my blog. But that doesn't mean that that is it, because there is so much more to a person than a few labels, they just give a general view. I say general view because like I said, there is so much more to a person than that, you actually have to know the person to know them.
Listening to: Creature Feature - The Unearthly Ones
I have not been meaning to leave you all for this long but everything I wanted to write about is now gone some where and it doesn't help that I am speechless and in shock. It really is amazing how one person in one day can have over ten different emotions and feelings flow through you. My mind cannot focus on anything! But I'm going to have to push through that.
I have a picture of my hair redyed. I had to pull up my bangs, which are growing out, out of my face. And I must say that a picture can never do it justice. My hair turned out a cherry red with at first a purple or pink tinge to it. Clearly you can not see that from the picture. It's so much brighter and redder than that. Cruise you stinking camera!
Don't you just love the background. Actually I do, but I mean for the picture. One thing about my room, or dungeon as a certain little sister and brother call it and I am the dragon, is that I'm going for more of butterflies, stars, dragonflies and the like, I want to have a touch of fantasy and like a fairy world of sorts. After all my room is my escape in a way. I think it would be great if I could have those glow in the dark stars and planets I used to have as a little kid up on my ceiling. Of course I want to have the dark and gothy touches too.
In fact, even if it does seem a bit strange to me that I'm showing you a picture of my garbage box in my room, hey, why not.
It was originally a Goldfish box, I love Goldfish! But I got bored with it, and was feeling in the mood for some arts and crafts and cutting up paper, so I had an idea. And that was the idea.
Last Sunday we invited my grandma over for some Chili Verde, which I love so much, and pie. This pie was long over due as we planned to do it a month ago. See I have been wanting to make pies. It was a Chocolate Ghost Pie, and we used dark chocolate, or should I say "I" because my mom only looked over what I did. It sat for longer than the recipe said but it still didn't set up so it was like pudding, but still so good and everyone liked it and ate it all gone. I just had to put BOO on it, after all it was called a "Ghost" pie.
Whipped cream! Yep, you guessed it, I love whipped cream too, but really who doesn't? It makes me want it just looking at it.
A while ago my sister gave me some old legging of her's to use. There was still come material left, so I thought I should put it to use. So I did! I took the longest strip and folded it in half to they would make two even squares. I cut it off and then cut in the middle of the fabric and made sure that each one was the same size.
I took a make shift arm warmer that I made with safety pins and laid it on top of the fabric in the picture above and began to sew up the side, following along. Then once I got to where the opening for the thumb was in the other, I cut a whole, and then skipped up and sewed the top part.
After I sewed then up I went online and looked for picture of the skeletal structure of a hand.
Google Images
I put my arm warmers on and took a white crayon and while looking that that picture I felt where my bones were and colored with the white crayon and outline of where I felt my bones on my hand compared to the picture.
After that I took out my fabric paint (white) and painted the picture following alone the line of the crayon some what. The crayon was more for around where I should paint. Then once that was done I just went over the painted over it again to make is whiter.
This was the result...
I think it turned out rather nicely. All handmade and everything. But, sadly the right said came out bigger and more too scale with my hand.
I got my hair redyed by the way! It turned out like a cherry red with a hot pink or purple tinge to it instead of just red. But I love it all the same.
Day 30: Make a list of blogs you regularly read and link to them.
I read almost every post from all the blogs I follow, some more than others but that doesn't mean I like them less or more. I also have a list of blogs on the right of this blog that I read the most often.
And well, there you have it. No one of them is better than the others and blogs I did not meantion are no less, I love them all, but those are the ones I read every post from, so the most regular.
Well, no I don't. I actually don't have all that much to say on the matter. But to me, an elder goth is at least a generation ahead of me.
Day 29: What do you think will happen to Goth in the future?
I think that goth will either become more known in society or drift away, leaning more towards the first though. And if it does I can't say that it's a good thing or a bad thing. But I don't think there's much to worry about the mainstream taking more of the goth style and making it well, mainstream. The fashion changes so much who knows.
We Heart It
It does seem to me though that in the future cyber goth may be on the front of the stage as it pears so be becoming quite popular, in a sense. I have nothing against cyber goth, it's a great look. But so are many others. I think there needs to be not too much of any one fashion.
And I noticed that the good old 80's goth music that started back in the start of the subculture is not so common anymore. I do have a bit of a problem with that, because I like the music. Now I like more up-beat music too, but if it all starts to sound so alike then that's what I don't like. I don't know if that will happen but you never know.
I just hope that whatever will come in the future that no one fashion or music will take over, and that there will still be a wide rang of all of it.
And that's my honest opinion.
Listening to: The Birthday Massacre - Sideways (or rather their CD Pins and Needles)
Day 25: Did you ever consider leaving the subculture?
Yes actually. Because I thought at times that maybe I was only fooling myself. But I just couldn't and now don't want to, it just fits and to try and walk away would mean leaving some of myself behind as well.
Day 26: Show a photo for every year that you've been into Goth.
2009:
2010:
2011:
And there you have it!
Day 27: The worst thing you've ever done to a newbie.
Umm... Nothing. Nothing at all.
Listening to: The Birthday Massacre - Video Kid (Remix)
Day 22: If you could attend any Goth event what would it be?
I would love to attend Bats Day! I would love to go to Disney Land one day, and even better yet would be on Bats Day. This one would also be the most practical because it's only a two day drive to California.
I would also like to go Under The Blue Moon festival in Australia, I've always wanted to go there too. I will never say that I will never be able to go there, even if the chances of that happening are very slim.
Another one would be the Drop Dead festival. I really do like the deathrock look and a few deathrock bands, but mostly the look. Or Whitby Gothic Weekend, that would be a cool one to go to. And it's in England, which I really want to go to as well.
Day 23: Your favorite artist or photographer.
My favorite artist... You think I would have one, but I honestly don't. I do have many great artist that I adore but no one favorite. I love the works of the greats like Leonardo Da Vinci, he just amazes me. Jan Von Eyck is another one, and how he made all his oil paintings so realistic.
Another one is Paul Cezanne. He's not my top favorite but I love this painting of his (picture on right), along with the skull pyramid.
I know I know of more but I just can't think of them right now. And that bugs me so bad let me tell you!
As far as photographer, I really don't know.
Day 24: Name best websites for Goths.
I have a couple on my link list for Christian goths. I never really look around to websites really. But I know that a lot of the blogs I follow are real good ones.
That's all for now.
I had such a good time last night, I hate when good times like that have to end, I wish they would last for a long time...
Day 20: If you could dye your hair any color what would it be?
RED! But I already did that and am again, just in two weeks (TWO LONG WEEKS!) because I want my hair nice and a fresh red for pictures, even though I would like it done now.
With my hair I have to bleach before dying because it's so dark (only medium brown).
We Heart It
Blue hair. As I have mentioned before I love blue hair, especially more of an icy or bright blue that sticks out. That would be a color I want my hair to be one day (or now if I could).
We Heart It
And of course I want purple hair. My favorite color! Actually my friend suggested to me to get purple tips with my red hair which I found to be a great idea. But to bleach the black out would fry my hair, so that's a sad upsetting no for now. Maybe next year! And as I have talked about before, I want a purple mohawk and was seriously going to get one but my mom thought a little more and said no, and my dad said, and I quote, "You can do whatever you want when your eighteen." Okay, I can wait. After all the more you wait either it's, yes you want one, or no it's a good thing I took the time to think on that.
Day 21: What body mod do you have or have considered?
I have two in my ear lobs on each ear and plan on getting a third pair. I would like to get some higher up but I've heard that is hurts when you get to the cartilage and I'm a bit of a wimp if it involves so much pain.
Oh and lip rings! I really did want one for a could couple of years there, but now I have to think about some more. I still think I would like one in the future. I also like a nose piercing, like a little silver ball, but I think I have to wait on that one.
My mom isn't against it now, but my dad is, though. She just want me to really think about it and make sure that it's what I really want and can live with it for the rest of my life, because it is a life long thing. But a nose one seems more likely to happen as my dad isn't so against that one. He just rolls his eyes.
And a tattoo... I have thought about that one and I can't decide if I would want one or not. I like them, but is it for me? If I did get one it would be either a Jesus Fish, bat, both, or my favorite verse out of the Bible.
Finally, my outfit for the outfit contest is in! For more info click here which will take you to the 'Goth and More' Blogging Community on facebook.
So with that being said, I just want to also say that it is not extravagant outfit or anything like that. It is simply what I wore Sunday because I felt like it. And nothing like the lovely outfits of Miss Sary Walrus, Kitty Lovett, or the Green Fairy, Dr. Cult and others. Sadly I have no new boots and no new red hair (my old boots have the zipper broken).
.
That's my favorite shirt, black with the cross. I will be sad when it has to go.
Shirt: Goodwill
New jeans: Kohl's $20 (I think?)
Black stud choker: Claire's $6.50
Bead necklace: Self made (everything to make if from Michael's)
Black arm warmer: taken from pair of fingerless gloves with safety pins on the side.
Converse: Journeys $29.99
Sweater: JCPenney
By the way, that pruple sweater is amazing! I love it, it's also my favorite color, as you all know by now, but even so I still must say it, after all everyone has at least one favorite color.
To those of you who don't know, that cat in the picture is my (or the family cat) Mittens.
Goofy cat.
I was so happy when I got to do my hair like this again. My hair has been short for four years now so I'm growing it back out. I never reached past my shoulder for that long that is. All I did was pull it up, twist the hair around and take another hair band to hold it like that.
Well, there you have it! I hope it's fine that I put my real name, not my blog signature.
Excuse me for my resent absence. I am back now, and it seems I have some catching up to do along with an outfit to post for the outfit contest on the "Goth and More Blogging Community" on facebook. I think I finally found an outfit too, and just in time before the end on this month.
Day 17: Your favorite Goth brand.
If you must know I really don't have a favorite goth brand as I like certain things from a variety of different ones.
Well, that was short!
Day 18: Worst hair experience.
Mmm... Well I really haven't had any really bad ones apart from the occasional bad hair day. Oh and I can't wait till my hair is dyed red again. Speaking of which I will be going back to the beauty salon I went to to have her dye it back in the permanent red I have before since we never got around to getting a red color to do at home, but the rest if for a later post.
Day 19: Share beauty advice and take a photo of your make-up.
I don't wear makeup and my advice is the usual. Wash your face, use a scrub every now and again, and use moisturiser with higher sunblock when in more sun, like summer. And sugar, stress, and tormenting yourself with worry gives you zits! No, really, they do. Also lip balm with sun protection is a good idea too. But that's all I got.
Listening to: High Flight Society - Inhaling a Bullet
Day 15:Your favorite or most expensive item in your wardrobe.
My favorite is a shirt I got from Goodwill a few years back that is black and has a cross on it, that I will show you sometime this week in an outfit post most likely. It was at one time short sleeve but it was getting so out of shape and thin that I cut of the sleeves making it a tank top and then sewed one side and cut and knotted the other side to make it fitted again and sewed up the little holes in it, but since there are now more of them I think I might just make a few larger holes in it. I will not have it for long though, it is slowly falling apart on me.
My most expensive is my Tripp pants. Right now they are in the process of either being done for or fixed up. See I decided to take them in and make then more fit, and I can't even remember what I was thinking but I cut the seams off and a bit too much and I am having trouble with the back. So my grandma is going to come and show me what can be done. I have a great idea but with the seams cut off that might now work. My brain works in odd ways sometimes...
Day 16: What's the most casual you've ever dressed?
Well, my style is more casual goth, and even more so in summer time. But the most casual I've ever dress was one time when I was feeling awful that day and put on my teal sweat pants and more and old faded light teal shirt and white under shirt. I felt so odd wearing not black or even dark colors and not jewelry that day, but it was nice. There is also the times when I go camping, or somewhere like that and I don't want to wear anything I care too much about or can get dirty in and not care. In the colder weather I usually am more dressed up with layers of shirts, a jacket, jewelry and such.
I have a picture I drew that I want to share with you guys! Sorry if it is a little bit fussy.
My sister thought it was disturbing, which made me happy. The drawing is a bit darker in actuality. I love this little creature. I usually draw more realistically and in detail as well, which this one does have (the detail). I did it yesterday. I originally had in mind a girl, but everyone seems to see a guy so, whatever one you choose your right anyways because it really doesn't matter what I see it as, or saw it as, but what you see. When I was drawing this I was listening to Creature Feature - Six Foot Deep.
Surprisingly enough my favorite band shirt is my only band T-shirt and not from a goth band. Do you know how hard it is to find one, and the only goth band I've known of to come here once was TBM but I didn't get to go and I am still saddened to this day about it. But my favorite band T-shirt is the one I got at a Thousand Foot Krutch concert, the second time seeing them. I did DIY on it, my first try. A win.
My band T. The sides are cut and knotted, one sleeve cut, the other 3 slashes, safety pins in.
Ignore the comforter, I was twelve when I got them, I still like them.
Day 14: What was your best and worst DIY disasters.
The above was one of the best and the one I posted about here. have done others that have turned out good too, but those are my favorites. The others I will most likely share with you in a few days.
And my worst... I can't say I have one that ever went really wrong at all and turned out bad. So I guess I don't have one, yet.
Listening to: Jack Off Jill - Strawberry Gashes
Sincerely,
Angel of Darkness
Do you ever have the problem when you really like something and go out and get it or go to get it and suddenly everyone has them and so then it turns you off? That has been happening to me quite a lot lately. It's really annoying. I wish I could order online more often, I could get more unique stuff. And DIY doesn't always work on everything.
I am so sorry I haven't been on here, and doing The Goth Challenge, or reading all you lovely posts. I'm worn out and very tired and look like a zombie right now and have been busy and *breathe in, breathe out*... I just got back from a meeting with my awesome tech buddies on planning out the next three months of Rift and planning out videos to shoot, creative ideas for them, creative ideas period, who's doing what, etc. I just hope this doesn't get to be too much on top of school. It sounds though that it will actually be easier as in we won't be running it but producing it and making it.
I have a headache, must be the lack of sleep.
I shall write some tomorrow if I can to make up for my lack of it. I hope everyone has a great night.
I haven't gone bowling in ages, so when I went this evening I had some trouble but it all came back and I had the funnest time ever! I love hanging out with the tech arts team, they always make me laugh, their like family, a disfunctional family. I didn't get home till ten and have been a busy all day so that is why I am so late getting to this. Good thing I typed up the below part of this post earlier. I haven't had fun like that in quite some time now.
Day 12: What's your Gothic inspiration?
I have a lot, even if it is not only goth.
God. My Savior who died for me, Jesus. He was the greatest outcast of them all to this day. I could never do what He did for me, and when I am too weak to move on He is strong.
The Bible and every word in it, especially Revelation.
My mother, my family, and even my wonderful cat Mittens. He does make me laugh, that cat. My mom is usually always there when I need her. Even my little sister is. And I can't forget my friends.
Nature. The magnificent mountains; the trees that tower over head, that give shade or that even are dead and bare no leaves, in the autumn when the change color. The rivers, streams, and ocean, either loud, peaceful, or huge making you stare in aw. Even the animals and other creatures on the Earth. Nature is to me not just an accident.
The sky. The stars in the night sky and the moon or the clouds that look almost purple in the winter time. The sunset or sunrise. The way the sky appears at different times of day or season.
I can't leave out my fellow bloggers now, can I. You all are a big inspiration to me. There are so many of you, I love you all like a friend.
The music I listen to. The band members, lyrics, the sound, the look. Music like TBM, Thousand Foot Krutch, Skillet, Creature Feature, Bella Morte, FM Static, Hawk Nelson, Nine Lashes, and I could go on and on. Then the song Disappearing World by Fair.
The past, my past and the events that took place, the people I met or encountered. The people I once knew.
And the people at church, on the weekend and rift tech team, not on the tech team, pastor Vern, the people on the weekend and rift worship team. And the many great speakers we've had this summer. And I can't leave out my rift small group and youth leader Kyle.
Oh I could go on...
Sincerely,
Angel of Darkness
P.S. I am so excited to be one of the main people for the Rift tech arts team! I will be creating cues and running the light board and helping new comers on how to work it. But I'm also a little nervous because that's a lot to take on and I don't really think that I can take it for too long with school and all. I hope I don't screw up too, but I think I will be okay. First meeting is this Saturday, should be fun!
At the fair today I over heard a little girl in back of me, as I was waiting to go on the ferris wheel with my sister, say to her older sister, "I like what that girl is wearing, her hair, her shoes, her shirt, all of it." That made me feel much better! Little kids can either be monsters or very kind. I used to be one after all...
So, Day 11: Is Goth a lifestyle for you?
I would say yes?
Lifestyle: An individuals way of living. Manner of living: the way of life characteristic of a particular person, group, or culture. Says the dictionary.
So, I may not dress goth everyday, I do have my days of feeling sick or have run out of black clothes to wear till their washed, and lots of days when I'm not going out and I am dressed very much casual goth. Or in the case of camping sometimes. But I cannot see myself with out my dark, Gothic style of dress which is a big part of my life. Even though I goth music isn't the mass majority of my music collection (that grows a lot!) the music is still a big part of my life. And I seem to, by subconsciously or purposely, try or not try to incorporate many goth/spooky things into lots of areas of my life and likes. Like my bedroom, the doodles on my notebooks (bats, skulls, and bleeding hearts usually), even on my days of no black to I try to make if spooky, the books I like to read, the movies I enjoy watching, the art work that catches my eye. With or without knowing about the subculture all those most likely would be there, it's just who I was when younger and still am.
There are still lots of other things that I enjoy, love, and am that are not goth, or even dark for that matter. But they too I cannot imagine not being with me, because they're who I am. I don't just enjoy the darkside of life, but trust me, nothing bubbly or shallow or anything of that nature.
With all that said, yes, I think that goth has because a part of my way of life, so it has become a bit of a lifestyle for me.
I'm sorry this came to you so late, but after the fair and being in the sun for HOURS I am still worn out and extremely tired and want to lay down and sleep for a very long time. Not too mention that I had been dreading this day and when it came I looked up and saw nothing to be upset about but sadly I was ever so slightly wrong... There's always a better tomorrow, and tomorrow will be a great day. Or if it's not I'll make it one! But I did get a funnel cake! Chocolate Eclair!
Listeing to: Matthew West - Stronge Enough
It fits so well with what is going on with me in these hard trying times in life...
We're going to the fair today. I am excited, I just hope I don't have to go on any rides, I hate that they're all too fast or spinn too much. I love funnel cakes though!
Okay so, these are some of the songs that I am into at the moment that have either touched me, caught my attention or that I have recently found. The music genre vaires from band to band and/or song to song, as you may have noticed my tastes also vary that way as well. Most all of these bands are Christian bands. A Christian band is where each member is a Christian and they express that through thier music. There really is no such thing as Christian music either, which makes sence, after all Christianity is not a music genre (I know, I rambling...sorry).
Moving right along, here they are, hope you enjoy them too!
1. Philmont with The Difference. Till recently, I forgot about this song.
2. Nine Lashes - Anthem For The Lonely. Caught my attention as I love these guys and they finally now have a new ablum coming out. This song is from that new ablum.
3. Icon For Hire - Make A Move. I just recently found these guys while listening to the above song, and I found them quite good.
4. Children 18:3 - Cover Your Eyes. (I have talked about these guys before on my post about Christian Goth/Friendly music.)
5. Fair - Disappearing World. This is just such a beautiful song.
6. This Beautiful Republic - Beautifully Broken. One of my favorites just like Nine Lashes, TKF, or TBM. A great song that has recently touched me, yet again.
7. The Birthday Massacre - Midnight. I know, I know, enough with them already right? Well that's just too bad, I'm way to far gone by now...
So there you have it my darklings. I am well aware that only one is goth, but who cares? I just love sharing the music I love with you, or whoever is interested. I enjoy a post of music every now and again. :) I'm a teenager, what do you expect? Oh, and have a great day!
First off I'd like to say welcome to my three new followers and fellow winged creatures of de night! If not a winged creature of de night, a big welcome to you too! :D
Day ten: What do you hate and love about the subculture?
Good question. Might as well get the bad out of the way first!
Hate: How you get judged for being emo just because your growing out for bangs that love to fall in your face, wear black skinny jeans, Converse, and a black shirt! Everyone always comments on how my bangs make me look emo. I can't help that they won't stay out of my face! *Takes a deep breath* I'm better now.
Being judged poorly and stared or glared at like they've never seen anything so shocking. But it helps when I think of it as they're looking on in aw as I am dressed so awesome. Which sometimes might be the case.
And as Tenebris in Lux pointed out as her dislike, is the makeup. I knew this was bound to come out sooner or later. I really don't like makeup as far as me wearing it. And when I first started out in the scene I felt like I had to wear it, even guys wore it. I know this person didn't know anything about the subculture, but I was told that I'm not goth, I don't wear the dark makeup. Yet emo seems reasonable even though they wear lots of it too(?)
Also that just because I don't have any piercings but my ears, my hair not colored (just recently colored), and no tattoos that I am not so much pushing towards being goth. (I know these aren't true but still.)
The expense of so many goth things from clothes to boots to accessories. I just can't afford a lot of it, or really much of it at all.
And why does everything have to be so far away from where I live. Most of it seems to be in Germany.
Love: The way one can express ones self in so many different and unique ways and being able to show ones true self. Love it! And not all but a lot of the music is beautiful and different as well, in a good way too. The whole aesthetic is just wonderful. The acceptance, it does feel great when you are accepted for being your dark self and not feel so odd or weird about it; having others to relate too and with. Also the fact that being a subculture it means that you most likely can connect with others elsewhere, such as across the country or in another continent. Like Australia or the U.K., etc. And the darkness of it and the spooky.
I'd say the good does out weigh the bad, after all, if it didn't, why would I even be here now writing this?
And on your way out have a look see at my List of Blogs... down on the right side of the page and check out these great blogs if you haven't already. :)
We aren't rich, we aren't poor, we are working class and there's nothing wrong with that. I am a teenager who works around the yard and at my dad's shop and make no more than $7 a weekend plus the yard work which would be $5.
I love to read things about budget goth because it is very helpful. But I have learned stuff of my own that helps a lot too. I can't go out and buy a lot of the goth stuff online, it can be a lot and plus I don't know I feel too comfortable buying online yet, but I will get there. Anyways, here we go.
Buy T-shirts, plain T-shirts, any color you like. I know a lot of the time JCPenny's has sales for plain T's, like buy one get one 50% off. I understand not everyone is artistic, but go to Michaels (or Wally World) and buy fabric paint of the color(s) you want to make your own design/drawing on the plain T-shirt(s) you bought. But be sure to try your art work on something else before your shirt because practice makes perfect! Right?
Everyone knows that thrift stores and Goodwill are good places to look, but never go into those places expecting to find something right away. You might have to go back several times to find something you really like. I happen to find my favorite shirt at Goodwill back in 2008. The black shirt with the cross. It lasted all that time and it was second hand!
Boots. I love boots, especially combat boots. Now goth boots can be expensive, and brands such as Dr. Martins (which I love their boots!) and Demonia. Some people can't go out and buy boots that cost a hundred dollars (even though you know you wish you could!). Be practical. Buy boots you can wear for lots of outfits and that work for everyday wear and that will last and you will not get tired of. My mom bought me combat boots from JCPenny's at thirty something because they were half off. I love them and they lasted over a year and would have longer if the zipper didn't break.
And of course DIY. Anyone can do DIY, anyone people! Pick up those scissors and get scissor happy. Cut those leggings, cut up those jeans or that long or short sleeve shirt! Wholly leggings look good with boots and skirt. (I have only one skirt, which was actually shocking to me and my family since I hate skirts...but this one just... just fits. :) )
So you have an outfit pictured in your mind that you don't have but want because you can so see yourself wearing it. Well, sometimes these things come slowly if you can't find what you want right away, so be patient, it really does work. And if you never get it, maybe it was just meant to be. Do with what you've got and make the best out of it.
This isn't just for the gothling, but for whoever this helps if you have your own look. Remember, make what you got work and be creative, but whatever(?). I could so be a shopaholic, but I won't let myself go there because it's not something that could or would ever make me happy. I want Joy.
Well...? I can't really think if just one specifically, so I'll do through the mental list in my head. Here it is:
Country is one, although I used to like Carrie Underwood. Can't really say that much anymore though.
Rap, hate it. Although I do like a couple of songs from Manafest and one song from KJ-52, both Christian. But I have to be in the right mood or it could really bug me.
I also very much dislike hip-hop, there are not exceptions here!
Jazz really isn't my taste.
Metal. Now I do like some songs from Demon Hunter and Within Temptation, but other than that it really doesn't appeal to me, especially with the growling.
Screamo is one genre that I dislike along with emo (or emotive hardcore)
I would say that about sums that up. It sure does sound like I dislike a lot of music though... Which isn't true!
Oh boy, I hate being busy. But I have been reading all your blogs my lovelies! And even though I may not comment I still enjoyed the read. I am not ignoring you. :) Wow, short post.
Day eight: What's your worst and best experience with non-Goths?
Well, all of my friends (but Charisse) are non-goths, my bestest (I know it's not a work) friend never even wears black and all she has is lighter colors, but she does have a morbid sense of humor.
Best: Older ladies seem to love what I wear. I had one elderly lady (mid seventies or early eighties) came up to me one day while with me mom shopping and said she loved my outfit, especially my pants with the zipper. I was wearing my Tripp pants and a tank top with stars on it and a necklace and choker with my combat boots (hey, I liked it and still do). Then she told me about how back in the day she had some black pants that she took and put on zippers, but she forgot to put and fabric under so when you opened them you saw skin. And she would have dressed like me. I notice it's always the elderly ladies that compliment the most.
I have had lot of people tell me how much they love my hair (dyed red with black tips) and how cute it is. I even got complimented on my awesome tie, that I am now wearing.
Worst: The worst I have gotten is stares and glares. People usually ignore me or that I'm not there, and I don't think they're trying to, they just do. I do remember that on the same day when that nice elderly lady came up to me (from above mentioned), while I was walking toward the back of the store, a chick with her little boy saw me as she was walking towards me and glared for a moment and she led her little boy off to the other side of her almost pushing him against the wall like I was going to try and hurt him or something. But nothing worse than that.
So those are my worst and best experiences with non-goths. Over all they seem to be out numbered, with the best out weighing the worst.
Also, here is that tie I was talking about and my outfit for the day. I have never yet done an outfit post, and on the poll I resently did in second place was outfit posts. I guess there's no harm in trying it out to see how it goes.
Awesome red stripped tie: a gift from mom at dad at Christmas
Collared button up shirt: around $10 from JCPenny
Skirt: Don't remember how much, from JCP
Fingerless glove: I think $6:50 from Claire's
Black and grey stripped sock with skulls: $1 from the Dollar store.
Converse: $29.99 on sale from Journeys
Listening to: Skeletal Family - Lies (love them!)
Sincerely,
Angel of Darkness
That's a bit of a toughy as I love more than just ten and there are still so many other bands out there I haven't checked out yet. Last year I didn't even have ten favorite goth bands.
The Birthday Massacre, what a surprise! I cannot say in words how much I love these guys! Like I said before Kill the Lights is my favorite song, but so many others are too (this being at the top). Their music is dreamy and inspirational, I have never known anything like them ever in my whole life. This is why they are first. <3
Bauhaus, another surprise. These guys were truly the first goth band I fell in love with. I just love this song with the piano and the parts were he sings and then speaks. Very unique.
Again, it was hard to find a song to post because I love all their songs. This was the only music video and I really love this song with the music and how it has references to Edgar Allan Poe's work (I love Poe). Their like a little taste of Halloween that puts a smile on my face.
Need I say anything more? Who doesn't love these guys?
Aw yes, Depeche Mode. My mom told me she used to like some of their songs that played on the radio but mostly the different kids listened to them.
I remember when I heard this song I just had to keep listening to it over and over. The music is sweet yet dark to my ears and I love Noemi Aurora's voice.
At first I wasn't sure if I like them, it seemed as though mostly everyone else did. But after a while they grew on me and they are one of my favorites now. This song was the first song that caught my attention.
My mom and dad caught me Siouxie and the Banshees's CD Juju Christmas last year. Great music, great voice, and a catchy song this one is. :) I do enjoy the early goth bands.
I instantly liked this song and Ashbury Heights's music. There is nothing more for me to say.
Bella Morte's song Torn is a great song and I love the opening part of it, it's beautiful.
Each song was a favorite that I picked to go right along with my favorite band. Like I said, it was a little hard to pick which ten, but there you have it. There are so many more you just have to look around and see what you like. That's what I did when I first started getting into the music. Not every band appealed to me but I found some I liked and am still doing that to this day because I love finding new bands to fall in love with.
Sincerely,
Angel of Darkness
P.S. And Celeste at FadeToBlack, if you are reading this, I noticed that I couldn't comment on your posts. It might be just something going on with blogspot at the moment, but I'm not sure and I thought you might like to know.
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