Saturday, April 30, 2011

Blending Faith and Goth

If you have ever tried to find anything on "Christian goth" you'll find a mix of either sarcasm or actaullity (no sarcasm in it).  And what I want to make clear on my blog is that it is okay to be both.  Christianity is your belief and faith in God, the Saviour.  He always comes before even ourselves, He is the one thing that invades (or enters once you let Him) all areas of your life, and you become one with Him, He is you, living in you, your identity is in Him alone.

Goth on the other hand is the music you listen to, the style of dress, and goes even deeper as in the way to see things, embracing darkness, your thought, even your life if it is your life style.  It is a part of how you are.  It is not a bad thing, even the way you were made to be.  When it does become a bad thing is when that is the first thing on your life, and you can't give it up and ends up becoming your "god" if you will, because anything that you value or spend way more time with than God becomes you idol that you worship.  Like for some it's music (guilty), fashion, shoes, shopping, obsessing over someone or soemthing. 

If you put anything above God that is wrong, and yet it's so easy to do, I know because everyone has it, even if you're a pastor.  It's the sin nature, if you will, that is why we do it.  And after all, God is a jealous God (wanting only you for Himself with no sharing).  So as long as your aware of the danger of goth (or anything) becoming to much of you and your life and lessening God in your life than you're good to go.  But it happens to subtly that you won't know till it already happened.

And there are many good things that come with being a Christain Goth, like seeing the beauty of God's Love and Grace even if the darkest of places that so many people seem to miss.

Listening to: The Becoming (or DON'T HAVE ONE ANY MORE) - The One To Hurt You

Angel of Darkness

Friday, April 29, 2011

Life As We Know It...

Wow, what a month!  April is always busy for me.  Birthday's, getting on track with school to get finished for summer time, reading for school, firiends, tech... I need a break, and the only way to get one I guess was to get sick, but it's beter now.  And then there's my 16th birthday coming up and I don't know if I'm happy or not.  I really don't like thinking that in less than three years I will be going to college.  And driving this summer, don't want to do taht yet!

 I guess it's nice from not much going on in winter, which I am glad is gone because I was getting a little depressed with it, I need sunshine!  Just as long as it says of my skin... At least I don't get sun burned, just tan.  The sun lifts me spirits up even when I am having a bad day.  And to look out at the beautiful turning lush green grass and bright blue skies, Spring is my favorite season (as well as Autumn).  And actually while basically everyone I know is hoping for a hot summer I want a cooler one like last year, which I think it very well is going to be.

So, I haven't been writing here too much, I just don't have much time to write, and just basically forgetting to, which happens way too much.  But my creativity is coming back to me more so this month, but it seems no time to make it happen which bums me out a lot.  But I think that after a bit more thought I will be getting my hair done.  No cutting this time, I am finally going to brave through the summer with my scalp being very hot and neck too, that's the bad thing about having thick hair.  It's been short for over three years, I'm growing it long.  And no mohawk because my parents decided that when I was older and wanted to do it that than I could, and I think maybe that was the better option.

It's scary how life can change so quickly, for better or for worse.  And how your walk in it can change.  One minute you walking in a path full of light shinning down lighting the way, the next back in the blackness searching for a sign of light...  It amazes me how your soul can be walking in the dark while your physical body can be walking in the sunshine of spring, or dead inside and breathing outside.

I just saw Beetlejuice the other day before Easter.  It had been ages since I saw it last, but I was too tired to finish watching it, being sick then and all I had no energy.  And right now I am starting to read This Present Darkness by Frank Peretti.

I need to go somewhere peaceful to just think: about God, about my story, about what I am being called to do... someday, only someday.

Angel of Darkness

P.S. If I write little next month I'm busy then too.  Oh boy!
If I ever get boring, let me know, please!  :)

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Goths and Converse

Around here where I live it seems that all the mall goths wear Converse, or the like.  Now one thing I would like to mention is that also one minute they say their gotht he next emo, and we can't forget them, or the skaters, sporty types and so on, that a lot of people like to wear Converse.  Most of my friends (I know no goths because there are so few here that in the last three years I have seen only four and all adult), wear them and love them, including me. 

I have heard (ture or not I am not sure, but I have heard it more than once) that it looks poserish to wear them.  I don't agree, however, unless your wearing Tripp pant and all black then I might have to second guess.  Plus on websites selling goth shoes (I look at many because I love the shoes I see and I'm not a shoe person) that are in the very similar style as Converse.  And yes they are a big name and so many people wear them.

I think these ones are awesome.

And these are mine as soon as they come to my door.

You know, summer is coming, even if it looks like a cold one like here in Montana is looking (Montana weather is so fun... Not) and a pair of them might do you good.  Not so hot as your beloved boots, and I feel your pain of having to not wear them so much I love mine, and if you hate wearing sandles (like me) then these will do just fine.  And I know I'm not alone, I know for a fact.

Listening to: Blood and Water - Sinking   (my guilty dark secret is that I am usually a sucker for pop punk/rock music... Oops)

Angel of Darkness

Modern Fairies, Dwarves, Goblins & Other Nasties . . .

This took a while to put up because I was so busy and side tracked, but here it is.  April and next month are busy months for me, but summer, not so much.  Trying ot make ones self focus is like training a cat to do dog trick (fetch, roll over, etc.), it's possible, but takes effort and it's hard.

As told to Lesley M. M. Blume is the book Modern Farieis, Dwarves, Goblins & Other Nasties,  A Practical Guide by Miss Edythe McFate.  And anyone who likes fairies or finds them interesting might actually like it (like my friend Sarah) and I'm sure many other's do and in the Goth scene too.  I'd say it's more for like ages 12 and up, I found it in the new section of my library in the teen area. 
Warning: This book is fiction and to those who believe in fairies I have just ruined it for you. 

Sorry about how fuzzy the pic is.

Well, I did enjoy this book for a light read.  It talks about, well, what the title implies and gives you an insight on such things and these: fairies, dwarves, goblins and other kinds of nasties.  In no was does she (the author) shed a that sweet innocent light on them as Tinker Bell is shown.  There are not sweet and innocent at all, but devilish, prideful little things, but as for the fairies no sign of it by looks. 

It has three stories in it about incidents that have accrued with such creatures and what happened to the people involved with them letting you know to watch out for them and steer clear.  In fact in the first chapter it tells you how to know if a fairy is good or bad. 

Fortunately I had to return it before finishing it all the way, due to the fact that it was due and I was so busy with books for school (A Tale of Two Cities, Pride & Prejudice) and catching up on school that there was not time for reading the last of it. 

Lesley M. M. Blume, when a young girl, liked roaming around the yard and imagining about fairies and the like, and then later decided to write a book and did. 

Angel of Darkness

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The Beauty of Life. . .

Well, I am back, and I was gone because of life.  I have done a lot of musing on life, and lots and lots of thinking.  School, I am very much ready to say good bye to.  And I have realized something very important: God is a God that can do all things, even the impossible, like change me for the better. 

Yes I knew that already, and have known it always, but it finally got to me.  I was in the car with my mom, going to the mall.  She was talking about wanting to change for the better.  It brought to mind how I was feeling that not to long ago, wanting to be the confident and Godly person I saw myself as.  And there it hit me, like someone turned of the Light, opened a door, let in the warm spring breeze. . . I was no longer thinking that.  I had prayed and prayed and done my best to push out of my comfort zone, and then one day, I was there!  I was fighting a tiresome battle in my mind, Satan winning and my losing.  But then, just when I was going to loose, God won it for me.  No more complication, it was done, I am now the person I wanted to be, and it feels great! 

I know that to possibly many of you reading this, this sounds just silly, or maybe it just doesn't seem like much.  But to me, to me this is something truly amazing.  To me the impssible happened, and a leep in my walk with God has just taken place.  And that means that I must enjoy it as much as possible because it won't last for too long, because as it is with driving, you go forward to far you must put it in revers (not that I went to far!), but you get it.

And by the way, life, it was mever meant to be complicated, that's all you.  But life, it was meant to be simple, not easy but simple.  I have made up my mind that there shall be no more complication, I was to really live, and complications make everything harder than it already is!

Listening to: I'm Still Here by Goo Goo Dolls   (from the Disney movie Treasure Planet, one of the best Disney movies ever if you ask me!)

Angel of Darkness, with SPRING FEVER!