Friday, October 28, 2011

Holloween is So Near Now

I wanted to get this written a week ago bust, all well. 

Halloween has always been one of my favorite days and October one of my favorite times of the year being autumn and everything.  I love the changing colors of the trees, the smell of the chilly air of decaying leaves, and the way the day looks because the sunsets and we get night.  October really is the only month that we get autumn here in Montana because if it doesn't snow before Halloween, or one it, it snows after, and once that happens you could say that winter is pretty much here, so are autumn is like a month and a half usually. 

Google Images

One of my favorite parts of this time of the year is eating candy, making Halloween decorations, watching some of my favorite movies on channels like ABC Family, and carving pumpkins!  Oh, and how could I forget, baked pumpkin seeds are the best, and dangerous!  I do like to dress up too, but this year I don't think it will happen because I am out of ideas sadly.  But I can still have a good time anyways, like dressing in black and orange. 

Only one thing has ever bugged me about Halloween, and that is the people who say that if you're a Christian then you can't celebrate Halloween.  It just bugs me, and yes it is there opinion, but it always makes me feel in some way disturbed.  So the other day I was listening to the Air1 radio station and the guy hosting the afternoon show was saying how he got all of these emails from people talking about Halloween and whether it was right or not.  Same old stuff I always hear: it's Satan's holiday, Satan's birthday, or it's evil.  And he said something that turned on a light bulb: we aren't here to condemn the culture but to redeem it, and it's just another one of God's days.  So if God makes ever single day then why would He make a day for Satan!  That's blasphemy in the fact that to say that God would do such a thing like that is disrespectful to Him.  It's not different from any other day.  Celebrate it or don't, that is up to you, but please don't say it's Satan's holiday because that is just wrong, and frankly it is disturbing to me to think that Satan could have a day to himself.  So let's not go there.

And what's with Christmas stuff up way before Halloween now?  I mean really, two over two month before Christmas.  I don't even want to think of Christmas and the cold, and SNOW!  Why must they torture me so! 

Google Images

Angel of Darkness

Sunday, October 16, 2011

What's Wrong With Being You?

I wanted to do this post for some time but just couldn't bring myself to write it just then when I thought of it.  So I am writing it now. 

I have so many questions and no answers.  I think too much, which can either be a bad thing or a good thing.  I watch the people around me as I sit alone, watching them go about their lives, and I sometimes end up looking back at myself and wonder why I can't be out there with them too, what is holding me back I don't yet know.  It's a question without an answer.  I don't mind sitting alone, or being by myself, it's very nice sometimes, but just not all of the time, it can be depressing and I get lonely.  I have pretty much always been the one to sit alone while other go about with their friends not even noticing me, that is why I saw that I have pretty much always been the invisible one.  My story here is nothing new, I am not the only one, everyone has been through this at some point, some more than others. 

So like I said, I am not alone.  I also know that life does not revolve around me, my God is always with me, I have friends, and I have that one best friend that I can call at three in the morning.  But still, in the end, none of that helps when it comes down to the very center of it all, because there is so much more than that. 

Now, I want to share something with you (or whoever is reading this...) that comes straight out of my personal journal.  I wrote this Tuesday, June 21st, of this year, 2011.  
(The below is rewritten in a way that it can be towards you and not just me.)

Steps on Being Myself

  • First pray.  It seems like I'm always praying, but in the end it always works.
  • Second, don't be afraid.  Clearly I (or that is: you) are afraid of something and need to ask yourself: what are you afraid of?
  • Third, read the Bible every night and day.  It does end up helping over time.
  • Forth, what you have to say is not boring!  If you have something you want to say, say it.  Just make sure you're not saying something like gossip or something bad like that.

So far all of that has worked, looking back on it now, and in only a couple of months I have been feeling much better about truly being myself and not being all closed up and quite.  And you can go and add or change whatever you like to fit you if you need to.  You also need to learn to love yourself, because if you don't even like who you are how can you expect someone else to. 

To pray means that you tell God everything.  I literally mean EVERYTHING!  He already knows, so tell Him anyways, don't hold it back, after all you pray not because He simply says too, He says too because it helps you, after all if you never ask you will never get it, if you don't knock the door will not be open, if you don't seek you will never find what you seek.  Only the truth can set you fear, so speak it, say out loud, say the honest truth not matter how horrible it is.  It should also be sincere.

"Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for.  Keep on seeking, and you will find.  Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks, receives.  Everyone who seeks, finds.  And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened."  Matthew 7:7-8.

What are you afraid of?  Rejection.  You may say that it doesn't bother you, but you are still afraid of it, everyone is.  It's human nature to want to be accepted, not rejected, and yet we reject others.  We judge them, reject them, turn our backs on them, we sin.   And life is life.  What don't I get up and walk over and start to join in?  Because I guess I am afraid, afraid to be looked down upon, to be ignored, to look stupid, to be rejected.   I still don't know how to over come it.  It seems easy to say, "Just suck it up and move on, who cares about them."  To do that, well that is a whole other story.

Don't be afraid to be you, even though you may not know who that is yet, I still don't, but I don't want to hide that, or hide from anything, life is too short for that.  So even though I may not know who I really am, I am still going to be me, and I do that my not thinking about it, because once I do I over do it.

Angel of Darkness

Sunday, October 2, 2011

A Label

I realize I have been gone sometime now, sorry about that.  And I have a new sort of series if you will, or at least they relate to each other in some way.  And this one is going to be the first post, on labels.

We put labels on this so we know what's what, but we also do this to know who's who.  I personally like to label certain things to make it easier to know where things are and have a place for everything.  A person on the other hand I really just don't care, because a label on a person really doesn't need to be there for organization, but just to get an idea of who that person is.

Unlike some I don't hate labels on people, but there are sometimes when labels are pushed too far and it just is ridiculous.  For instance, say someone finds out that this person they talked with before was emo, and so they stop talking to that person because they don't want to be seen with someone emo.  What difference does it make, it's still the person you were talking too before you found out they were emo.  And that is what does really bug me about the whole thing. 

Some label themselves for identity reasons, because in that they "find" who they are or want to be known as.  That can also be pushing it too far.  I say this because that is not what labels are for in my opinion, but are there to just more so group others with like interests together.  Someone may see the label of Goth and see that they have similar like interests in dark and spooky things and then can relate to the gothic subculture.

My blog title then only says a little about be in some ways and all about me in others.  The label Goth implies that I identify with the culture and have like interests with others in it.  The label Christian, however, says the most by implying that that is what my beliefs are, Who I follow is, and the like.  But there is a difference between the labels of Goth and Christian.  I don't just identify with other Christians, or have the same or similar likes and interests because truly there is only one like and interest and belief we all share.  In Goth we all have very similar if not almost the same likes, interests, and views of things, such as taste in dark music, the love of Halloween and vampires, etc., or how we express ourselves in a dark way by clothing and such.  But with Christians, in the end it doesn't matter what music we like, how we dress, what things we have in common, who are friends are, what we like to do, what movies we like to watch or anything.  The only thing that binds us together is that we believe in God and that is it.  That one thing, because nothing else matters. 

Done by myself.  Not off internet.

Even though I call myself a Goth, that doesn't mean that that is just what I am and should be put in a box to sort out who is who.  To fit in only one box would make to me a very boring person.  I can understand people who hate labels.  But they aren't there to put restrictions up, just simply to tell something about you, for instance you know two things about me by the title of my blog.  But that doesn't mean that that is it, because there is so much more to a person than a few labels, they just give a general view.  I say general view because like I said, there is so much more to a person than that, you actually have to know the person to know them.

Listening to: Creature Feature - The Unearthly Ones

Angel of Darkness