Do You Ever Day Dream?

I am told I think too much, and that is very ture, I do.  I day dream all of the time.  I get lost in my head all the time.  I love it when I get lost in a book or in my story I am writing.  I get lost in my imagination all too much.  I have been told I am quiet for it, maybe even shy.  But I'm not, I'm just lost. . . Either in another world or in this one with who I am.  I wonder a lot too, just wonder what things might be like if I were like this or that or about what my future will hopefully look like and about the beauty of Heaven, my ture home that I have never seen, the place, ture place, I belong away from this world (although this one isn't all that often). 

If someone where to ask me why I don't have a boyfriend (never have either) I ca only answer that, if I don't know who I am than how can I expect someone else to love me and know me for me, I don't even know who that is!  And at this age, what's the point?  I have me whole life a head of me, a life I want to live and not care about having a boyfriend till God brings someone along.  But I won't even know because first we will be the best of friends, very close.  And if no one comes along, I'm fine with it, being a virgin I mean.  I just want to love my life the bast I can, even when the world is crashing down on my, like it has been these last few months.

Do you ever wonder what it would be like to be invisible?  I do.  Not for ever but just when you want to.  To be able to go around with no one knowing your listening to them, watching them, or just doing whatever and saying whatever. 

It seems like the time when I am most awak is at night, past ten.  I love the night, it's beautiful with the stars and the moon, and the darkness, and the peace and the quiet of it.  At night I can't see the world in all it's beauty, and feel calm, or I can't stop my thoughts, good or bad or sad.  I love looking up into the night sky and seeing a smile.  It's funny, I used to be scared of the dark but never the night its self.  I used to dream of wondering in the night mysteriously when I was really young, and even now. 

I've always been different from everyone else, but when you read what I just wrote am I really all that different?  Except that yes, I find beauty in the darkest places and love to read Edgar Allan Poe, which almost every one I ask thinks he is dark so the don't like him, but that's why I do! (HeHeHe!)  But I love being a little different from others, not fitting in.  To fit in is to blend in, but to be different is to stand out and been seen. 

In some ways I feel like my character, Ned Dickson.  Quiet, different and just not too concerned about what others think of how you dress or think, but maybe more in what you do.  And wanting to go to a place where no one is around, the world and society gone, but life everywhere.

To lie in the grass and stare at the sky.  To walk through a forest and find your way to a field over looking the world, to walk the sunset and the stars come out to great you.  To sit on a rock and watch the creek run by with a great view of mountian over head.  And I remember this one place when me and my family where moving from Wyoming and went through Billings on are way to Portland Oregon, we were going through the Rockys and came to this every small little town and staying in a motel that sat right of the river's edge with the mountian on either side (being in them) and watching the sunset.  Montana is beautiful, and I always find myself day dreaming, lost in the beauty.

I dream of one day being an author, writing my fiction, and about being a great artist and even photographer.  I dream about what it would be like to not give a hoot about what people think of me, to just live my life I was given in the first place!  I dream about the day when I do find myself married with a family.

Do you ever day dream?

Listening to: FM Static - Crazy Mary   (I feel like her sometimes.)