Goth and Me. . .

Okay, so this is an inspired post from reading MissGracie's (Goth in College) and Amy's (The Ultimate Goth Guide) posts. 

I never really went throught that whole mallgoth thing (on the outside anyway, how I dressed) because I was afriad of being called a poser and getting into something I didn't really even know about so I spent almost a year checking out what goth truely was.  You could say I looked it inside out, even though I doubt that's possible(?).  But I did think like others that you had to wear all black all the time, listen to Evanescence, etc.

I have been a Christian since I was at least six years old, but have messed up my walk with Jesus many a time.  I have always felt like I was somehow on the outside.  My style of clothes was tomboyish, wearing non-fitting t-shirts and capris, sometime cargo, and I didn't really care what I wore just as long as it matched, and to this day I still dress modestly, refusing to wear shorts or low cut tops or anything girly.  I have also had this tendancy to be kind of rebellious, and be different from others.  So maybe it was a good thing I saw so many Christians not doing what the Bible taught because that made me want to do it even more so, in fact to this day I feel even like I don't fit in with other Christians sometimes.  But if it was just like what everyone else was doing, if I didn't like it I would do the opposite, or close to it.  A bread of a different kind!

I had friends that would tell me stuff like black was evil or those kids that dress like that are freaks and touble.  I was always very interested in things different or people who dressed dark, or goth.  And when I saw kids like that I thought to myself that I liked it a lot no matter how much someone told me it was bad.

I went through my time of trying to fit in, and I hated it!  I didn't feel good wearing clothes I saw so many other girls wear.  Everyone else seemed to like it, but me of course.  I started looking up goth when I was thirteen and fourteen and found it to my liking.  It was dark which I liked and, different!  I was afriad some of my more prepy Christian friends would stop liking me, but that hasn't exactly happened.  I didn't get looked at funny going to church in my black capris, and black shirt with a white cross, but I did when I wore my light teal shirt with a skull on it, which even now I think is weird (not the shirt!).

My parents didn't even seem to care that my style (know that I knew about goth for real) was growing darker with more black clothes.  And even know they don't care.

Yeah, that's me at my fifteenth b-day.  My friend told me

with the candles on my cake it looked like a graveyard., LoL!

Some of my friends don't consider me goth, and some people think I am because I wear a chokar here and there and wear black sometimes.  But none of my friends are goth, just interested in it, have there own dark look, or own look period.

There I am again.  You can barly see the purple extentions.

And there was a question MissGracie asked on her blog about how your look will change as you get older.  I think mine will definitely change and become more extreme and better, right now I'm still trying to find waht suits me with all the different styles of goth and what truely fits me. 

Listening to: Bauhaus - Who Killed Mr. Moonlight (my favorite song!)

I did not become goth because it was always there, but the difference from then and now is that I let it shine.  Like I said, it was always there.

(If this bored you I am so not sorry, it felt good to let this out somehow.)

Sincerely,

Angel of Darkness