When You Are Ready

I don't know why I felt like writing this but it just happen to cross my mind and since it is night I usually go off into a world, place, and time of my own.  Not like a out of this world kind of place just where I escape this place.  Night is usually where the beautiful things happen, where I wake up and my eyes are open.

Have you ever felt like you're the only one who feels as though you're not ready for what is to come?  Because I must say I feel that all the time.  Like for example, I still think kissing is, well, gross.  No really, that's how I feel about it and I'm sixteen.  Now I am fine with that and don't want to change who I am, but it bugs me because I do feel as though stuff like that is slowly creeping up on me and I'm just simply not there.  Speaking of which, I'm just now starting to find guys more appealing if you will.  I think I'm just a slow bloomer honestly.  But it seems as though I can't find a place for me to feel comfortable with me being that way.  But that is just how life is sometimes.  You can't always find a place to be comfortable in like that.  At least I have God. 

If someone were to ask me why I would even want to believe in God I would answer because I have to.  I have to because without Him I just would be as happy as I am, I couldn't, I know me.  Plus I want to be with Him all too badly.

What I learned from not being ready, which really bothered me, was that 1) I am not alone in this, not ever! 2) ask yourself why, why are you bothered by it, what are you afraid of?  3) society has this idea that we all grow up, if you will, in the same manner: baby, toddler, child, teenager, adult.  And that there is this certian way we go through these stages.  Well not everyone fits that way of it, if that  makes sence.  Like how some people are slow learners while others may be fast, and then there's the majority in the middle.  I don't fit in the "middle" or even the "fast", but the "slow" in this case.  4) trust that God will get you through and that when the time comes you will be ready.  (You may fit this last part you yourself as you please.)

So you're not ready, you may never be, but that's okay.  You will be okay.

Sincerely,
Angel of Darkness

P.S.  It's amazing how real your characters become when writing your own story, as if they truly are real.  In fact they are, aren't they?  They are apart of you.  And how would my lovely readers feel if at least every once a month, or less, I wrote an excerpt from my story?